...YES! Someone got it right in tech support!

Actual dialog of an  WordPerfect Customer Support ex-employee:

W:  "Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?"
C:   "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

W:  "What sort of trouble?"
C:   "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went  

away."

W:  "Went away?"
C:    "They disappeared."

W:  "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
C:   "Nothing."

W:  "Nothing?"
C:   "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

W:  "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
C:   "How do I tell?"

W:  "Can you see the C:\ prompt on the screen?"
C:   "What's a sea-prompt?"

W:  "Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"
C:   "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I   
type."

W:  "Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
C:   "What's a monitor?"

W:  "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.  Does it 
 
have a little light that tells you when it's on?"
C:   "I don't know."

W:  "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power 
 
cord goes into it. Can you see that?"
C:   ..........  "Yes, I think so."

W:  "Great! Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into
  
the wall."
C:   ..........  "Yes, it is."

W:  "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two
  
cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
C:   "No."

W:  "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the   
other cable."
C:   ...........  "Okay, here it is."

W:  "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back
  
of your computer."
C:   "I can't reach."

W:  "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
C:   "No."

W:  "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
C:   "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle-it's because it's
  
dark."

W:  "Dark?"
C:   "Yes-the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in
  
from the window."

W:  "Well, turn on the office light then."
C:   "I can't."

W:  "No? Why not?"
C:   "Because there's a power outage."

W:  "A power...  A power outage? Aha! Okay, we've got it licked now. Do  
you still have the boxes and manuals and packing
stuff your computer came in?"

C:   "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

W:  "Good! Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like  
it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it   
from."

C:   "Really? Is it that bad?"

W:  "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
C:   "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"

W:  "Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."

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