Re: Gotta' love these!! -- MIDRANGE-L

Hello again.

These are supposed to be real life happenings.  There's a thread on a
list I belong to that is exchanging all of the stupid things they have
heard.  Here's just one of the many e-mails.

Bob Angell wrote:
> 
> When you read these, you have to wonder just how shallow that "gene"
> pool happens to be!!!
> 
> -Bob-
> 
> ----
> 
> Human "genius" at work:
>   I worked with an Individual who plugged her power strip back into
> itself
>   and  for the life of her could not understand why her system would not
>   turn on.
> 
>   1st Person: "Do you know anything about this fax-machine?"
>   2nd Person:  "A little.  What's wrong?"
>   1st Person: "Well, I sent a fax, and the recipient called back to say
> all
>   she received was a cover-sheet and a blank page. I tried it again, and
>   the same thing happened."
>   2nd Person: How did you load the sheet?"
>   1st Person: "It's a pretty sensitive memo, and I didn't want anyone
> else to
>   read it by accident, so I folded it so only the recipient would open
> it and
>   read it."
> 
>   I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car.  "Do
> you
>   need some help?" I asked.  She replied, "I knew I should have replaced
> the
>   battery in this remote door unlocker-now I can't get into my car. Do
> you
>   think they [pointing to a distant convenience store] would have a
> battery
>   for this?"  "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked.  "No,
> just
>   this remote 'thingy,'" she answered, handing it and the car keys to
> me.  As
>   I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't
> you
>   drive over there and check about the batteries - it's a long walk."
> 
>   Tech Support:  "What does the screen say now?"
>   Person:  "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."
>   Tech Support:  "Well?"
>   Person:  "How do I know when it's ready?
> 
>   My friend called his car insurance company to tell them to change his
>   address from Texas to Vermont. The woman who took the call asked where
>   Vermont was.  As he tried to explain, she interrupted and said, "Look,
> I'm
>   not stupid or anything, but what state is it in?"
> 
>   Several years ago we had an intern who was none too swift.  One day he
> was
>   typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing
> paper.
>   What do I do?"  "Just use copier machine paper," she told him.  With
> that,
>   the intern took his last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the
>   photocopier and proceeded to make five blank copies.
> 
>   I was working the help desk.  One day one of the computer operators
> called
>   me and asked if anything "bad" would happen if she dropped coins into
> the
>   openings of her PC.  I asked her if this was something she was
> thinking of
>   doing.  She said, "never mind" and hung up.  So I got out my trusty
> tool
>   kit and paid her a visit.  I opened her CPU case and sure enough -
> there
>   was 40  cents.
> 
>   One of our servers crashed.  I was watching our new system
> administrator
>   trying to restore it.  He inserted a CD and needed to type a path name
> to
>   a directory named "i386".  He started to type it and paused, asking
> me,
>   "Where's the key for that line thing?"  I asked what he was talking
> about,
>   and he said, "You know, that one that looks like an upside-down
> exclamation
>    mark."  I replied, "You mean the letter "i"?" and he said, "Yeah,
> that's
>   it!"
> 
>   This person had a broken lamp which he wanted to discard.
> Unfortunately,
>   the power cord ran under his refrigerator, making it impossible to
> move the
>   lamp while the cord was attached. He decided to cut the cord, since
> the
>   lamp  was unusable anyway.  He didn't remember to unplug it first.  I
> found
>   him in  the hallway rolling back and forth.
> 
>   I was in a car dealership a while ago when a large motor home was
> towed
>   into the garage.  The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair
> and
>   the whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister." I asked
> the
>   manager what had happened.  He told me that the driver had set the
> cruise
>   control, then went back to make a sandwich.
> 
>   I called a company and asked to speak to Bob.  The person who answered
>   said, "Bob is on vacation.  Would you like to hold?"
> 
>   Here's the set up:
>   I rented a movie from Blockbuster.  Before the movie begins a message
> comes
>   on the screen saying, "This movie has been altered to fit your
> television
>   screen."  Comment from person: "How do they know what size screen I
> have?"
> 
> --
>    Bob Angell, Principal - Sys. Engineer/Author/Consultant
>    Applied Info & Mgnt Sys, 1238 Fenway Ave., SLC, UT 84102
>    v801-583-8544 mailto:aimsllc@ibm.net mailto:aims@gte.net
>    --------------------------------------------------------
>             http://home1.gte.net/aims/index.htm
>    --------------------------------------------------------
>    "Had Mama Cass and Karen Carpenter shared that Ham sand-
>    wich; John Belushi just said "Pepsi, not coke!", they might
>    all be with us today!!"
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