Gotta' love these!! -- MIDRANGE-L

When you read these, you have to wonder just how shallow that "gene"
pool happens to be!!!

-Bob-

----

Human "genius" at work:
  I worked with an Individual who plugged her power strip back into
itself
  and  for the life of her could not understand why her system would not
  turn on.


  1st Person: "Do you know anything about this fax-machine?"
  2nd Person:  "A little.  What's wrong?"
  1st Person: "Well, I sent a fax, and the recipient called back to say
all
  she received was a cover-sheet and a blank page. I tried it again, and
  the same thing happened."
  2nd Person: How did you load the sheet?"
  1st Person: "It's a pretty sensitive memo, and I didn't want anyone
else to
  read it by accident, so I folded it so only the recipient would open
it and
  read it."


  I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car.  "Do
you
  need some help?" I asked.  She replied, "I knew I should have replaced
the
  battery in this remote door unlocker-now I can't get into my car. Do
you
  think they [pointing to a distant convenience store] would have a
battery
  for this?"  "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked.  "No,
just
  this remote 'thingy,'" she answered, handing it and the car keys to
me.  As
  I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't
you
  drive over there and check about the batteries - it's a long walk."


  Tech Support:  "What does the screen say now?"
  Person:  "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."
  Tech Support:  "Well?"
  Person:  "How do I know when it's ready?


  My friend called his car insurance company to tell them to change his
  address from Texas to Vermont. The woman who took the call asked where
  Vermont was.  As he tried to explain, she interrupted and said, "Look,
I'm
  not stupid or anything, but what state is it in?"


  Several years ago we had an intern who was none too swift.  One day he
was
  typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing
paper.
  What do I do?"  "Just use copier machine paper," she told him.  With
that,
  the intern took his last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the
  photocopier and proceeded to make five blank copies.


  I was working the help desk.  One day one of the computer operators
called
  me and asked if anything "bad" would happen if she dropped coins into
the
  openings of her PC.  I asked her if this was something she was
thinking of
  doing.  She said, "never mind" and hung up.  So I got out my trusty
tool
  kit and paid her a visit.  I opened her CPU case and sure enough -
there
  was 40  cents.


  One of our servers crashed.  I was watching our new system
administrator
  trying to restore it.  He inserted a CD and needed to type a path name
to
  a directory named "i386".  He started to type it and paused, asking
me,
  "Where's the key for that line thing?"  I asked what he was talking
about,
  and he said, "You know, that one that looks like an upside-down
exclamation
   mark."  I replied, "You mean the letter "i"?" and he said, "Yeah,
that's
  it!"


  This person had a broken lamp which he wanted to discard.
Unfortunately,
  the power cord ran under his refrigerator, making it impossible to
move the
  lamp while the cord was attached. He decided to cut the cord, since
the
  lamp  was unusable anyway.  He didn't remember to unplug it first.  I
found
  him in  the hallway rolling back and forth.


  I was in a car dealership a while ago when a large motor home was
towed
  into the garage.  The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair
and
  the whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister." I asked
the
  manager what had happened.  He told me that the driver had set the
cruise
  control, then went back to make a sandwich.


  I called a company and asked to speak to Bob.  The person who answered
  said, "Bob is on vacation.  Would you like to hold?"


  Here's the set up:
  I rented a movie from Blockbuster.  Before the movie begins a message
comes
  on the screen saying, "This movie has been altered to fit your
television
  screen."  Comment from person: "How do they know what size screen I
have?"


-- 
   Bob Angell, Principal - Sys. Engineer/Author/Consultant
   Applied Info & Mgnt Sys, 1238 Fenway Ave., SLC, UT 84102 
   v801-583-8544 mailto:aimsllc@ibm.net mailto:aims@gte.net
   --------------------------------------------------------
            http://home1.gte.net/aims/index.htm
   --------------------------------------------------------
   "Had Mama Cass and Karen Carpenter shared that Ham sand-
   wich; John Belushi just said "Pepsi, not coke!", they might
   all be with us today!!"
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