Humour: Computer Chicken Quotes

[Neil Palmer <npalmer@xxxxxxxxxxx>]

OK - Time for some stress relief !    :-)


> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> --
> : WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
> : 
> : 24. Computers
> : 
> : Assembler Chicken:  First it builds the road ...
> : 
> : C Chicken:  It crosses the road without looking both ways.
> : 
> : C++ Chicken: The chicken wouldn't have to cross the road, you'd
> simply
> : refer to him on the other side.
> : 
> : COBOL Chicken:      0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING.
> :                     IF NO-MORE-VEHICLES
> :                     THEN PERFORM 0010-CROSS-THE-ROAD
> :                     VARYING STEPS FROM 1 BY 1 UNTIL
> :                     ON-THE-OTHER-SIDE
> :                     ELSE
> :                     GO TO 0001-CHICKEN-CROSSINGc
> : 
> : Cray Chicken: Crosses faster than any other chicken, but if you
> don't
> : dip it in liquid nitrogen first, it arrives on the other side fully
> cooked.
> : 
> : Delphi Chicken: The chicken is dragged across the road and dropped
> on
> : the other side.
> : 
> : G3 300 mH Chicken: It crosses twice as fast as any Pentium chicken
> : 
> : Gopher Chicken: Tried to run, but got flattened by the Web chicken.
> : 
> : Intel Pentium Chicken: The chicken crossed 4.9999978 times.
> : 
> : Iomega Chicken: The chicken should have backed up before crossing.
> : 
> : Java Chicken: If your road needs to be crossed by a chicken, the
> server
> : will download one to the other side. (Of course, those are
> chicklets.)
> : 
> : Lotus Chicken: Don't you *dare* try to cross the road the same way
> we
> : do!
> : 
> : Mac Chicken: No reasonable chicken owner would want a chicken to
> cross
> : the road, so there's no way to tell it to.
> : 
> : Microsoft Chicken (TM): It's already on both sides of the road. And
> it
> : just bought the road.
> : 
> : Newton Chicken: Can't cluck, can't fly, and can't lay eggs, but you
> can
> : carry it across the road in your pocket!
> : 
> : NT Chicken: Will cross the road in June. No, August. September for
> sure.
> : 
> : OOP Chicken: It doesn't need to cross the road, it just sends a
> message.
> : 
> : OS/2 Chicken: It crossed the road in style years ago, but it was so
> : quiet that nobody noticed.
> : 
> : OS/ 8.1 HFS+ Chicken: It had much more free space to cross.
> : 
> : Quantum Logic Chicken: The chicken is distributed probabalistically
> on
> : all sides of the road until you observe it on the side of your
> choice.
> : 
> : VB Chicken: USHighways!<TheRoad.cross> (aChicken)
> : 
> : Web Chicken: Jumps out onto the road, turns right, and just keeps on
> : running.
> : 
> : Windows 95 Chicken: You see different colored feathers while it
> crosses,
> : but cook it and it still tastes like ... chicken.
> : 
> : Windows 98 Chicken: It should have expected to cause a crash while
> : crossing.
> 
+---
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