Remember Y2K?

The other day I came across some old zip disks I'd made several years ago.
Since I had no idea what was on them and since I also no longer have a zip
drive, I had to call around until I found a computer repair center that
could restore these files (turns out they were Windows 98 files) and put
them on CD for me. I've just been going through them to see what I had
decided was so important that I had to back it up.  

 

I guess importance is all relative because I'm not sure that anyone else
would find any of these old articles and tips I'd written years ago
interesting.

 

Anyway.I came across this old article (below), I'm not even sure I ever
published it or not, that I'd written back in 1999.  It was a bit of
prediction/suggestion on how IBM should market the AS/400 for the future.  

 

I thought maybe some of you might find this interesting while most of you
will probably think it's kind of stupid.  Oh well. here goes..

 

 

Shannon O'Donnell

 

 

What to do when Y2K causes society to breakdown

By Shannon O'Donnell

 

As January 1, 2000 quickly approaches with all of it's uncertainties and
myriad unknowns, I got to thinking about the impending disaster headed our
way. Just as many of us are only two or three paychecks away from living in
the street, so too is society just one or two disasters away from living out
a Mad Max movie plot.  When the last traffic light gives you the right to
proceed forward in a cautious and courteous manner, and when the last Eggo
commercial airs, what will you do? Is there any way we as AS/400
professionals can keep the fabric of society from ripping itself to shreds?
I believe there is. I think that maybe there are things that can be done to
"ease our pain" during the up coming time of transition.  

 


When the lights go out


There's a lot of talk these days about utility companies failing when
January 1, 2000 rolls around. If that happens to your power company, are you
prepared to keep your AS/400 up and running? I've been giving this issue a
lot of thought recently (Well OK. It was actually only for a couple of
minutes the other day while eating breakfast.), and I think I've come up
with a workable solution. What I see happening is that one or more of the
Big 3 auto makers will team up with IBM Rochester to develop a gasoline
powered AS/400.

 

Think of it! A whole new niche industry could be created to fill this need.
By merging proven automotive technology with proven computing technology,
you would be assured of a system guaranteed not to break down when the year
2000 rolls around. Of course required maintenance every 7000 miles would be
necessary. 

 

The New Models

The new gasoline powered AS/400 line would consist of all new models and
designs, that will fill a specific need. For example, your business might be
looking for a low maintenance, fuel efficient economy model. In that case
you might be interested in the sporty, pin-striped AS/400 Cougar-170, which
will contain a small, four cylinder, fuel injected 9401 processor, and AM
radio. If your business is so large that you need raw power more than fuel
efficiency,  perhaps your business would be better served with the AS/400
RoadKill SUV 9406 with it's high-end processing power, white wall sides,
24-Valve, fuel injected engine, and optional cup holders. 

 

While all of these AS/400's will have electronic ignition, there will also
be an alternate power-on source. Perhaps the most popular will be the pull
cord (IBM Part No. FC4331-91) model. A good, hard yank or two on the pull
cord will have your system humming when your battery backup goes down.
Another power-on source, the hand crank, will also be available, but only on
the early models. 

 

 

Fuel Efficient AND Good For The Economy!

The nice thing about this idea is that it will create many new jobs. IBM
Customer Engineers will be supplemented by ASE Certified Auto Mechanics, and
programmers will go back to school to learn how to perform routine AS/400
maintenance such as system backups and oil changes. Performance tuning will
take on a whole new meaning! 

 

The service industry will also grow as AS/400 Jiffy Stops open up
nationwide, providing 24-hour service for your gasoline powered systems.
Retail outlets will be able to get in on the party when Sears begins
carrying it's new line of Craftsman AS/400 Service Tools, and K-Mart, it's
new Jaqueline Smith line of AS/400 Programmer/Mechanic wear. Not to be
outdone, fast food chains will sponsor "hot" AS/400 professionals who will
wear the fast food logo on their jumpsuits. Before you know it,  Information
System's headhunters will begin searching for "exciting new talent" to pitch
to the ad boys on Madison Avenue, Hollywood will cast it's top grossing
stars to portray AS/400 industry experts in box office hits and Shania Twain
will be singing about the "AS/400 Programmer who 'updated' her record!".

 

AS/400 awareness will continue to rise as consumers become aware of this
"familiar" technology that has been merged with computing power. This in
turn will lead to increased AS/400 sales and AS/400 usage. AS/400
programmers and IBM Certified mechanics will be in high demand, and salaries
will rise. This will increase their buying power which will provide a much
needed boost to the economy. It's a win win situation!

 

 

An Idea Catches On

Of course, once this idea catches on, Microsoft will jump on the bandwagon
and start selling new versions of its Windows software. Windows Octane 87
will be touted for the home user. Windows Octane 89 will be for the small
business user, and Windows Octane 92 will be for the large corporation that
needs the extra "power". Of course, Microsft won't forget it's small
appliance users. Windows CE will be replaced with Windows Ethanol. 

 

The hardware manufacturers aren't going to take this lying down either.
They'll replace all electrical power supplies in home computers with
miniature gasoline powered engines, each with its own tiny pull cord.
Imagine the fun of coming to work every morning, propping one foot up
against the desk, firmly clutching the T-handle on the pull cord, and
yanking your computer to life! Ahhh.I love the smell of exhaust fumes in the
morning..

 

Not to be outdone, the computer gaming industry will get in on the fun too
when they release a new Laura Croft adventure: "Tomb Raider 18: Searching
for Vapor Lock".  

 

Of course, since 2000 is an election year, the politicians are bound to get
in on it too. Vice President Al Gore will declare in a campaign speech that
it was in fact he who invented the whole idea, while Jesse Jackson will fly
off to some middle eastern country to negotiate better crude oil prices for
a hungry new industry.

 

 

Whew! That's a lot going on! Still, it's a small price to pay for the
confidence you will have knowing that, come January 1, 2000, while your
competitor's systems are crashing left and right, your AS/400 will still be
putt-putting along.