Re: I/500

I hope not!

But it does sound like good old IBM marketing is at it again. I can just
see the meeting, some guy says "Hey, the AS/400 has a bad rap. Let's just
change the name to I500, that just sounds more appealing to me." Another
winner idea.






"Al Barsa, Jr." <barsa@ibm.net>@midrange.com on 08/02/2000 08:13:52 AM

Please respond to MIDRANGE-L@midrange.com

Sent by:  owner-midrange-l@midrange.com


To:   midrange-L@midrange.com, midrange-L@midrange.com
cc:
Subject:  I/500


Any relationship with the following press release and the truth is purely
coincidental.



*** FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE ***

In a move that well may prove to be the second largest marketing boner in
the history of the world, the IBM Corporation internally detailed plans to
re-brand all of it's computing product lines.  Each of the IBM product
lines will be designated by a letter and a number.  For example the
extremely popular AS/400 product line, which IBM has failed to successfully
market effectively, will be designated I/500.  IBM refused to indicate what
the letter "I" stands for, although speculation includes "Idiocy", which
relates to the entire exercise.  For example, it was revealed that the
RS/6000 will be designated with the letter "P".

Industry analysts point out that the entire process could cost between
three and five billion dollars, which is remarkable given the fact that
none of the products will show any substantive change, apart from the
normal progression of technology.  Wall Street expects IBM to take a one
time charge against earnings.  Covered by the one time charge will be the
cost of re-branding, new sign-age and logos, and a gift certificate
redeemable at the Mayo Clinic for one lobotomy all IBM executives involved
with this decision.  Executives from Big Blue also have the alternative of
a one-time transfer to the new IBM location in Redmond, Washington.

With regard to the Mayo Clinic action, Northwest Airlines today is
announcing two additional daily round trip 747 flights from White Plains,
New York to Rochester, Minnesota.  In reaction to the Northwest
announcement, residents of the town of Greenwich Connecticut have indicated
that will seek an injunction prohibiting Northwest from servicing the needs
of it's customers.  The Kahler Corporation has also announced the
construction of several new hotel properties in downtown Rochester to
handle the additional travel into zip code 55901.

Officials with the Coca-Cola Company expressed relief that IBM was unable
to top the largest marketing boner in the history of mankind, the
reformulation of Coke.

In related matters, trading was halted in Sherman Williams stock with
speculation of an order from IBM for 390,000 gallons of the shade "piss
yellow".  Sherman Williams pointed out that someone is going to have to
repaint all of those RS/6000's which are currently black.

The Internal Revenue Service has announced that it will investigate this
boondoggle, sighting that IBM could have better spend the funds in a bond
fire with the cash, sighting the probability of the one-time charge.
Immediately Greenpeace announced that it would seek an injunction against
IBM fearing that such a bond fire might contribute to global warming.   IBM
employees pointed out that the funds could have been better spent in the
employee's pension fund.  IRS agreed with the IBM employees sighting that
they would be able to ultimately tax this money again, despite the current
one-time charge.



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