> From: alan
> For people posting these messages, please remember there's
> usually more going on than fits in a couple of lines.

I agree, Alan.  At the same time, I would also ask that people be a little
less thin skinned and a little more willing to accept and even dole out

This is not a self-actualization group.  It is not about feeling good about
yourself or finding your inner voice.  It is not about learning to love
yourself.  It's not I'm-okay, you're-okay.

I would draw the line at personal attacks and name calling.  Short of that,
just about anything goes.  The people who have given me the most grief over
the years - Brad, Hans and Rob come immediately to mind <grin> - have also
been the ones who have contributed the most to expanding my perspective.
Without their insights, I would be a narrower person than I am.

This is not to say all discourse must be confrontational.  John Carr has
consistently provided counterpoint to my opinions and has just as
consistently done it in a low-heat, professional manner.  Those of us who
tend to boil over a little too quickly would do well to learn from him.

At the same time, those who regularly complain about the tone of some posts
ought to lighten up a little.  The flames here are NOTHING compared to the
conversations elsewhere on the net - in fact, these mailing lists are far
and away the most civilized I participate in.  Got to a comp.lang newsgroup
and ask a newbie question if you want to see what real flames are all about.

In general, if someone questions (or even argues against) WHAT you are
doing, take it as the opinion that it is and move on.  If it gets you hot
under the collar, take a breath or two (or three) before responding.  You
might even take that time to try and understand WHY it gets you so ticked.
For example, when one of Rob's posts really gets under my skin, it's often
because there's at least a smattering of truth to what he's saying <grin>.

In any event, both sides of this should take a little time to relax.  Posts
here need not be quite as passionate nor confrontational as I make them - it
is, after all, just a mailing list.  At the same time, nobody should take
anything here personally - it is, after all, just a mailing list.

All that said, anybody who wants to jump on my case, feel free to do so.  As
I said, I often learn the most from the people I agree with the least.

Merry Christmas to all!

BTW, I got a deck of Buzz Lightyear playing cards and the multi-DVD
Fellowship of the Rings set!  Thanks, Santa!!!

This thread ...


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