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You forgot: Increase Keyboard Voltage (INCKBDVTG)
  for those users who constantly 'Just don't get it'




Mark


Mark Walter
Sr. Programmer/Analyst
Hanover Wire Cloth a div of CCX, Inc.
mwalter@hanoverwire.com
http://www.hanoverwire.com
717.637.3795 Ext.3040



                    "Al Barsa"
                    <barsa@barsaconsult        To:     midrange-L@midrange.com
                    ing.com>                   cc:
                    Sent by:                   Subject:     System/38 
Resolutions - Fall 1983
                    midrange-l-admin@mi
                    drange.com


                    05/29/02 09:43 AM
                    Please respond to
                    midrange-l






I thought it was time to dust these off once again:




Blip Library List (BLPLIBL)
Temporary changes the library list to the list specified in the command.
Resets to original library list at completion of command.

Transfer Queued Job (TRFQDJOB)
Transfer job directly from *JOBQ to *OUTQ.  This will save a lot of CPU
time for jobs that are going to fail anyway.

Clean Disk Brakes (CLNDSKBRK)
Rapidly cycles the brakes on each disk drive 30 times to blow off all the
dust that gathers on them and makes that awful squeal at powerdown.
Alternatively, this command could be called Confirm Flying Height
(CNFFLGHGT).

Power Up System (PWRUPSYS)
Powers up a system from a remote terminal.  Great for those days when the
operator is late.

Increase Keyboard Voltage (INCKBDVTG)
Nobody ever obeys my "Program error.  Contact DP before retrying." message.
 This command will enable me to replace it with a "Program error.  Keyboard
now running 500 volts.  Contact DP or else."

Power Down System (PWRDWNSYS)
Allow *PREMATURE option on this command.  Why shouldn't it be different
from the rest of us?

Rotate Device Description (ROTDEVD)
Saves having to physically move terminals, etc.

Terminate User (TRMUSR)
Increases the radiation on the screen for one fiery second.  This is the
final solution for those users who refuse to sign off at 5:30.  Command
should support two options:
(1) *IMMED - Leaves only the bleached bones behind
(2) *FAMILY - lower radiation level, merely causes sterility

Reverse Ribbon Motor (RVSRBMMTR)
Allows the operator to reverse printer ribbon motor, for when necktie is
caught.  Command should support a posthumous (*POST) option for use by the
next shift operator.

Exhume Program (EXHPGM)
Replaces new version of program specified in the command by the older,
deleted version.  Great for those programs where the 'patched' version has
more bugs than the original.

Accelerate CPU (ACCCPU)
Accelerates CPU for a brief period.  Ideal for those 'sleeping sickness'
spots  during the day.  Should come with a warning "Overuse of this command
may cause damage to the delicate lining of your terminals."

Confuse Programmer (CFSPGMR)
The command, if executed send the message "Space pointer X'0017AF16B1a'
points to a data space that does not exist."  Second-level help says the
same thing, but phonetically.

Remove Database (RMVDB)
Adds a certain 'je ne sais quoi' to the most organized installation.



Al Barsa, Jr.
Barsa Consulting Group, LLC

400>390

914-251-1234
914-251-9406 fax

http://www.barsaconsulting.com
http://www.taatool.com





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