Re: CSI -Consolidated Servers Inc (Previously Known as RS/6000,AS/400,Netfinity, andSys/390)

OK - RANT(*ON)

Yeah.  A nice opening shot of a funeral home.  Camera moves inside.  There
lies the dearly departed in a black coffin.  Wait a minute, the coffin is
empty.  Camera pans back - it's not a black coffin after all, it's the new
AS/400e-xtinct model being sent off to that great bit bucket in the sky.
As the camera pans the grieving mourners we see they all have corn cobs
with them (Minnesota farmers, get it ! :-)  ) - there are no "suits" in
evidence.  Guess they didn't even care enough to attend the send off for
the system they just killed.  No - that's not fair, they were real busy -
checking on their stock options, share price and retirement packages - and
couldn't spare the 4 hours to attend the funeral.
(Oops - silly me.  "AS/400 ads" obviously doesn't mean TV !).

In a related story, the Mayo Clinic in Rochester MN has had to open a new
2,000 bed Mental Health facility, as large numbers of IBM employees in the
area come down with bouts of severe depression, and in some cases dementia,
as they learn they will be tasked with converting all AS/400 customers
worldwide to the new generic IBM Wintel based "Server".  "We should have
realized the error of our ways" said an IBM Rochester spokesman who asked
that his name not be used.  "How stupid of us to think that creating a
superior product, using many of the thousands of patents and products that
IBM invented and owns, was the way to go.  Obviously if IBM invented it
there must be something wrong with it.  We now realize we need to sell all
those useless advanced products and patents to our competitors so they can
market the latest technology, while we move to a business model where we
utilize inferior processors and operating systems that....".  At this point
he was led away drooling and glassy eyed by one of the nurses who explained
that it was "time for his electro-shock therapy."

Meanwhile, General Motors top brass, taking the lead from the marketing
geniuses running IBM,  announced today that they are going to eliminate the
use of brands like Cadillac, Buick, Oldsmobile, Chevrolet, GMC Truck,
Saturn, SAAB, Opel, Vauxhall etc. - and sell a new "one size fits all"
generic "vehicle".  "We figure if we don't have to waste money explaining
to the customer the difference in our 'vehicles', and why one might be
better suited to a customers needs than another, we can flood the market
with advertising for 'GM' and tell everyone what a great company we are."
When asked about the lack of choice for the consumer, considering all
"vehicles" would now look the same with a "GM Vehicle" brand on the trunk
lid, a spokesman said "Nonsense, the customer will have lots of choice -
they will be able to choose the brand of gasoline they operate the vehicle
on, and whether they lease or buy".



What would it matter if they told the truth about the "reliability" of
Windows ?  So the Netfinity division would lose sales, that would be picked
up by AS/400 - and would also pick up Compaq, Dell, HP etc. customers who
finally "saw the light".
There would be no "confusion over IBM's byzantine product lineup" if they
would take their damn heads out of the sand and advertise WHAT the bloody
difference actually IS between their different servers !

     "This one is great for playing games and listening to all the MP3
files you snarfed off Napster, needs rebooting every few days (or hours),
and runs an OS owned by a company with the business ethics of the Mafia
that has new security holes discovered every week.  This one is bloody
ginormous and very reliable, but costs an arm and a leg, and is required by
only the very largest customers who can afford to have a staff of hundreds
managing it.  This one is great for plotting long range weather patterns,
analyzing DNA, designing automobiles & airplanes, and simulating nuclear
explosions - and runs an OS originally invented by LSD crazed California
hippies in the 60's .  This one is designed to run your business, runs for
years without rebooting, doesn't need an army of propeller heads to
operate, scores at or near the top in most real world performance ratings,
and is so scaleable it can be had in a range of models from a few thousand
dollars to millions that all run the same software unchanged, and can even
run applications you may have written twenty years ago and have lost the
source code for."
     "OK - thanks for explaining that (finally !).  As I'm simply running a
business and can't afford an army of specialists to take care of the
system, I'll take that last one please."
     "Sorry, we're combining all these products into one."
     "But why would you want to eliminate a successful range of products,
that each have their own unique targeted customer bases and are all amongst
the best in their class, in favor of a "one size fits all" generic box that
will be a compromise for all and no longer the best choice for any
individual use ?"
     "Shhh, you'll hurt Chairman Lou's feelings.  He got the idea from a
package of golf balls."
     "Wasn't he the guy who used to run that company that sold breakfast
cereal and cigarettes?"
     "Yes, that's him."
     "So why didn't he consolidate all the various breakfast cereals into a
generic "Breakfast Cereal" product, and all the cancer sticks into a
generic "Coffin Nails" product ?"
     "Well obviously you need to tailor and market your products to
customers with different requirements, tastes and needs, and - uhm, er -  I
have to go now."

RANT(*OFF)

Neil Palmer         DPS Data Processing Services Canada Ltd.
                                             AS/400~~~~~
Markham,  Ontario,   Canada    ___________          ___  ~
Phone: (905) 474-4890  x303   |OOOOOOOOOO| ________  o|__||=
Cell.: (416) 565-1682  x303   |__________|_|______|_|______)
Fax:   (905) 474-4898          oo      oo   oo  oo   OOOo=o\
mailto:NeilP@DPSlink.com    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
http://www.DPSlink.com        AS/400e  The Ultimate Business Machine






jpcarr@TREDEGAR.COM@midrange.com on 2000/08/01 21:50:20

Please respond to MIDRANGE-L@midrange.com

Sent by:  owner-midrange-l@midrange.com


To:   MIDRANGE-L@midrange.com
cc:

Subject:  CSI -Consolidated Servers Inc (Previously Known as
      RS/6000,AS/400,Netfinity, and Sys/390)



Ah, I told you's guys to watch the new personal shake up at IBM,
Well here's some more news.

<SNIP>

Sources say Gerstner and Palmisano have all but signed off on a plan to
unify IBM's Netfinity,
RS/6000, AS/400, and mainframe servers under a single brand by the fourth
quarter. ""

<SNIP>

I guess those AS/400 specific ads that we will be getting next week are a
moot point now in raising customer awareness of the AS/400 name huh?

Oh, ya, and this might interest you also

<SNIP>



 In addition to rebranding the systems, IBM will
 use Linux as the lingua   Franca that ties them
 together. The company has already enabled its
 servers to run Linux apps, and it's encouraging
 independent software vendors to write programs
 in Linux so they can be more easily ported
 across systems



<SNIP>

This might have gotten your attention huh??   The complete story is at URL
below.

John Carr


http://www.informationweek.com/797/ibm.htm

Other changes may offer insight into what Gerstner thinks the company must
do
next to meet customer requirements and increase sales. Palmisano handed
leadership of the server group to Bill Zeitler, formerly general manager
and
now senior VP of enterprise systems. A major repositioning of IBM's server
lineup is in store under Zeitler's guidance. The line has been dragged down
by sluggish mainframe sales even as Web server revenue, including midrange
RS/6000s, jumped 30% in the second quarter. Sources say Gerstner and
Palmisano have all but signed off on a plan to unify IBM's Netfinity,
RS/6000, AS/400, and mainframe servers under a single brand by the fourth
quarter. The goal: reduce confusion over IBM's byzantine product lineup.

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