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  • Subject: If you like Gilbert and Sullivan...
  • From: "Al Barsa, Jr." <barsa2@xxxxxxx>
  • Date: Fri, 20 Nov 1998 15:14:49 -0500

If you like Gilbert and Sullivan this is fun: a  ditty, with words by the
talented if obscure Brad  Rhodes, and sung to the familiar Pirates of
          Penzance tune "Model of a Modern Major General":


Bill Gates:
I am the very model of a Microsoft Executive
Work 16 hours ev'ry shift on days that are consecutive
I make a line of software that is of the highest quality
But leave in bugs to fix in upgrades in perpetuality.

Though some might claim that we compete in ways that are not very just
That's just vindictive rumor spun by folks who can't compete with us
Besides they cannot prove a thing, no judge will ever take their side
We'll crush them with our lawyers known for litigation far and wide.


Men's Chorus:
He'll crush them with his lawyers known for litigation far and far and wide!


Gates:
We made our Windows system one which we hold in propriety
And tweak it every now and then to screw up Lotus 1-2-3
Developing for Windows makes our competition often frown
They haven't any choice--our system is the only game in town.

We'll use people's inventions that will make our software sell the best
Idea is the first step but the market is the real test 
And though we may use others' thoughts and intellectual property
Stealing's such a nasty word, we like to call it R&D.


Chorus:
Stealing's such a nasty word, he likes to call it R&-R&D.


Gates [faster]:
My business tactics are compared with Henry Ford and Genghis Kahn
They built me up from nerdy kid to billionaire and then beyond
And while my competition spews out words full of invec-u-tive
I am the very model of a Microsoft Executive!


Chorus: 
And while his competition spews out words full of invec-u-tive
He is the very model of a Microsoft Executive!








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