Fwd[2]:Re: Fwd:Bumber Stickers... (fwd)

[Don <dr2@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>]

If Operating Systems Were Beers

DOS Beer:
     Requires you to use your own can opener, and requires you to read
the directions carefully before opening the can. Originally only came in
an 8-oz. can, but now comes in a 16-oz. can. However, the can is divided
into
8 compartments of 2 oz. each, which have to be accessed
separately. Soon to be discontinued, although a lot of people are
going to keep drinking it after it's no longer available.

Mac Beer:
     At first, came only a 16-oz. can, but now comes in a 32-oz. can.
Considered by many to be a "light" beer. All the cans look identical.
When you take one from the fridge, it opens itself. The ingredients list
is
not on the can. If you call to ask about the ingredients, you are told
that
"you don't need to know." A notice on the side reminds you to drag your
empties to the trashcan.

Windows 3.1 Beer:
     The world's most popular. Comes in a 16-oz. can that looks a lot
like Mac Beer's. Requires that you already own a DOS Beer. Claims that
it allows you to drink several DOS Beers simultaneously, but in
reality you can only drink a few of them, very slowly, especially slowly
if you are drinking the Windows Beer at the same time. Sometimes, for
apparently no reason, a can of Windows Beer will explode when you open
it.

OS/2 Beer:
     Comes in a 32-oz can. Does allow you to drink several DOS Beers
simultaneously. Allows you to drink Windows 3.1 Beer simultaneously too,
but somewhat slower. Advertises that its cans won't explode when
you open them, even if you shake them up. You never really see anyone
drinking OS/2 Beer, but the manufacturer (International Beer
Manufacturing) claims that 9 million six-packs have been sold.

Windows 95 Beer:
     The can looks a lot like Mac Beer's can, but tastes more like
Windows 3.1 Beer. It comes in 32-oz. cans, but when you look inside, the
cans only have 16 oz. of beer in them. Most people will probably keep
drinking Windows 3.1 Beer until their friends try Windows 95 Beer and
say they like it. The ingredients list, when you look at the small
print, has some of the same ingredients that come in DOS beer, even
though the manufacturer claims that this is an entirely new brew.

Windows NT Beer:
     Comes in 32-oz. cans, but you can only buy it by the truckload.
This causes most people to have to go out and buy bigger refrigerators.
The can looks just like Windows 3.1 Beer's, but the company promises to
change the can to look just like Windows 95 Beer's - after Windows 95
beer starts shipping. Touted as an "industrial strength" beer, and
suggested only for use in bars.

Unix Beer:
     Comes in several different brands, in cans ranging from 8 oz. to 64
oz. Drinkers of Unix Beer display fierce brand loyalty, even though they
claim that all the different brands taste almost identical. Sometimes
the
pop-tops break off when you try to open them, so you have to have your
own can opener around for those occasions, in which case you either
need a complete set of instructions, or a friend who has been drinking
Unix Beerfor several years.

AmigaDOS Beer:
     The company has gone out of business, but their recipe has been
picked up by some weird German company, so now this beer will be an
import. This beer never really sold very well because the original
manufacturer didn't understand marketing. Like Unix Beer, AmigaDOS Beer
fans are an extremely loyal and loud group. It originally came in a
16-oz. can, but now comes in 32-oz. cans too. When this can was
originally introduced, it appeared flashy and colorful, but the design
hasn't
changed much over the years, so it appears dated now. Critics of this
beer claim that it is only meant for watching TV anyway.

VMS Beer:
     Requires minimal user interaction, except for popping the top and
sipping. However cans have been known on occasion to explode, or contain
extremely un-beer-like contents. Best drunk in high pressure
development environments. When you call the manufacturer for the list of
ingredients, you're told that it's proprietary and referred to an
unknown listing in the manuals published by the FDA. Rumors are that
this
was once listed in the Physicians' Desk Reference as a tranquilizer,
but no one can claim to have actually seen it.
_______________________________________________________________________________
_

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